Help! man outside window fear!

My four-year old has nightmares not only every night but every other hour. It’s the same fear of a man outside her window. I’ve shown her there’s nothing there, told her monsters aren’t real, that I’ll keep her safe. I let her sleep in my bed, brought her back to her own bed, gotten her a nightlight. Now she wants me with her all the time, even during the day in her room and bathroom. The parenting books only tell me not to let her watch scary movies, which I don’t so that info is useless.

I’ve checked outside, asked around the neighborhood, everything I can possibly think of.

It’s at the point where I can’t sleep! Help!

There are many things that toddlers can become frightened of. Even though these situations are not the same as yours, I think you might find this information useful.
It give great advice on how to handle it.
Here’s what I’ve found reading online:

3 to 4: “IT’S TOO DARK!” by Susan A. Miller, Ed.D.

Three-year-old Shana’s class had recently read and acted out “The Three Billy Goats Gruff.” A week later, a trip was planned to the petting zoo. When Shana saw the goats, she started to cry uncontrollably. Shana’s teacher took a minute to try to understand what was going on. Ah, yes! Didn’t one of the goats in the story butt someone into the monster troll’s mouth? Threes often find it difficult to separate fantasy from reality.

Frightened by the Unfamiliar

There is so much going on in the world of a 3-year-old-so much mastery, so many things they’ve already become familiar with. At the same time, however, children this age may be disturbed by characteristics they find unfamiliar. Jessie cries when his teacher comes back after winter break with a beard. He may also be afraid of a bleeding cut, hide his eyes from the cast on a friend’s arm, or tell the teacher to throw away that broken toy. None of these fit the familiar concept of whole, and that’s scary!

Common Anxieties and Reactions

At about 3 ½, children often develop a variety of insecurities and physical ways of showing them. Fear of the dark and nightmares are common and may last quite a while. Hands may tremble. Children may suck their fingers or develop nervous tics. Verbal reassurances from important adults, along with security blankets and other special comfort items, can help allay fears and build confidence.

It’s Not Easy Being 4!

Because of heightened imaginations, 4-year-olds’ fears can become magnified. Often, when one fear subsides, another takes its place. Although many fears are specific to an individual child, some seem to be very typical for this age group-fear of strange animals, bathtub drains, fire, thunder and lightning, snakes, and bugs. A fear of shadows and moving lights on a wall can make bedtime and nap time scary times. At 4, many children are afraid that if a grandparent or a pet dies, they’ll die, too.

Often, fueled by programs seen on television, children’s fantasy fears, such as ghosts, dragons, and supernatural characters, find their way into the preschooler’s play and dreams. Fear of intangible things-for example, being abandoned-may also increase.

Preschoolers learn some of their fears from observing or listening to others: Mommy cowers at the sight of spiders, for example. Other fears come about because of painful or scary personal experiences, such as being lost in a store. However, it’s important to keep in mind that certain fears develop healthy anxieties. Fear of traffic, heights, power tools, biting animals, and fire can teach safety awareness and self-preservation, alerting preschoolers to danger.

As you help young children learn to deal with their fears, you are also helping them to feel in control of their lives.

What You Can Do:

Accept children’s feelings. Try not to be judgmental. Let children know that you understand how they feel. Help them put their feelings about their fears into words.

Offer ways for children to express or calm their fears. Through dramatic play, children can feel empowered to work through their insecurities.

Help prepare children for situations they may find frightening. Read a story about going to the dentist, or ask a firefighter to visit the school and allow children to handle the equipment while you stand nearby for reassurance.

Try to determine the actual cause of the fear. The more you know (and the less you assume), the better able you’ll be to help children work through their fears.



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Are there any parents out there that have experienced a similar problem that might have some advice?

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Filed under ChildCare411

3 responses to “Help! man outside window fear!

  1. Maybe she sees paranormal things.Just a thought.

    • She actually did mention putting baby powder outside the window during a dry night. And she also tried a security blanket the other night. I haven’t heard from her yet as to if it worked or not.

  2. Try putting sea salt or salt water under or with the salt around his bed.Maybe a dream catcher.Crystals also work to ward off unwanted negative energy.

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