For those of you that don’t know, I watch one of the smartest 7 year olds I have ever met. I call him lil’ man, even though I should be calling him Einstein, because he is extremely book smart but has difficulty with fine motor skills, such as shoe tying and buttoning.
It isn’t uncommon for lil’ man to come home from school upset because his best friend was too busy playing with someone else, and not him, or he didn’t do well enough on an assignment for school, “I’ll never get it” “I can’t do it” “He doesn’t like me anymore”.
|His best sad impression!|
Some children are naturally tough on themselves, but what are ways we can help and support them?
Try starting and ending with a positive. For example, “I’m proud of you for trying your best, I know you worked really hard, but I’m not sure you understand the assignment exactly, thank you for trying, let’s see if we can figure this out together.”
Parents should also be easy on the teasing. While some children respond well to gentle teasing, a sensitive child might take even the smallest joke literally.
Help the way your child looks at negative feelings. Maybe the situation isn’t at all what they thought it was. Maybe Scott & Andrew didn’t ask you to play because they didn’t know you wanted to.”
Something that’s really important is getting children to understand that it is ok to feel the way they do, and that they can not control what other people do, only their own actions. Help your child find a productive way to cope on their own.
All children need to go through painful situations so they can learn how to handle them. Instead of trying to make it better for them, teaching them how to cope and move on is something that can definitely help in future problems.
What are some ways that you are teaching your child to cope?